Essentially I'm a ball of wibbly wobbly witchy writingy hermit witch seer with cats and the internet.
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What the hell is wrong with the idea that a person has the right to set their personal boundaries?
Picking up a pack of tarot cards does not make you public property. Learning a divination skill does not come with the requirement to read for any person, at any time, by their demand, regardless of what you have going on in your personal life. A divination reading is a conversation between the tools, the querent, and the reader. And at any time the querent and the reader has the right to NOPE away from the table. Even paid readings do not grant an irrefutable right to the reader. Is the querent being abusive? Refund the fee and tell the querent to GTFO.
I really don’t give a flying fuck if someone wants a second, third, or hundredth opinion on any of my readings. However, if I see a querent asking the same question to myself and six other readers at the same time, without identifying as such, that querent is going on my ‘fishing expedition’ list and I will refuse to read. Personal experience has taught me that when a querent is intentionally seeking different viewpoints and opinions to balance for themselves, they’ll let all of us know upfront. I have no problem with that. Those that don’t are fishing for the perfect answer or is just that obsessed with some aspect about the reading.
Obsessed querents are pains in the ass. Usually the matter is a fantasy relationship that they just can’t accept is not going to happen before the cold death of the universe. But to pick on love readings is just gathering the fallen fruit. Truth is, any obsessed querent that will not respect the reader’s boundaries is an unwanted querent and should be rejected accordingly. And the idea that the reader is wrong for setting such boundaries to protect themselves, physically, financially, and emotionally is itself abusive and should be dropped.
Yes, it is good to help people. Warm fuzzies and associated endorphin releases and all that. But when that help costs the reader more than what the reader was prepared to spend on the matter, something has got to stop. It is not the job of a tarot reader to be at the beck and call of the querent because the querent has us confused with “cheap counseling”.
I am a tarot reader. I do not owe you a god damn thing for it. No one has the right to demand a reading from me outside of the boundaries I have established. And if those boundaries go against your personal morals, ethics, and spiritual beliefs, I don’t have a damn thing to do with that. You have no right to dictate to me that I have no right to fire abusive clients. You have no right to dictate to me how many free readings I should perform or how to price my paid readings. You have no right to dictate to me which decks I should use, which methods I should read by, to whom I should pray for protection, or even if I fucking do in the first god damn place!
There is no Monarch of Tarot, to whom us peasants must bow and yield control of our decks to. There are no laws that require all tarot readers to accept all querents and inquiries or else we lose our heads. There is only Personal Responsibility to the Self. So let each tarot reader set their own boundaries as they wish to, and adjust those boundaries as they need to.
Tarot reading is not a religion. Stop persecuting those deviant from your personal ideals. Stop throwing subsets under the bus because they “make you look bad”. And for fuck’s sake, the Roma culture is not a fucking costume for you to take pretty pictures in!
Tarot reading is not an homogenized culture. The milk is in the back of the grocery store if that’s what you want.
Please, just don’t. It cheapens the advice you were offered, and it shows a major disrespect to the readers from whom you sought advice, as such an action implies that you are either (1) unwilling to listen to advice or (2) trying to test the capabilities of the…
I usually let the readers know, including the first one, that I am getting a second opinion. I usually do this with big decisions.
This may be an unpopular opinion, but I don’t typically consider it as “the asker wanting a different answer” and I don’t see it as disrespectful. I usually reason it as “the asker wanted a second opinion.” People do this with friends. Sometimes is it because they don’t like what they hear? Sure. I would hazard to guess that most people are guilty of that. But it isn’t my problem if they don’t heed what the deck says. And I would also hazard to guess, that the second set of cards will say something similar. At least when I am the asker, they do.
I definitely think it is polite to let the readers know you are getting a second or third opinion with the same question.
But, this is just my opinion. And I am on mobile, so I can’t reference the posts as I type, so I apologize if I miss understood something.
I can understand and respect this, totally. But there are definitely people out there that have asked multiple readers the same question. Always the same question, over and over again. I’ve seen it among reader friends and in the tags. There’s a point where you need to stop asking and just accept what the cards have said.
Are you going to ask the same question to a different reader every week until you get what you want to hear? And I think this is really the kind of situation we’re thinking of
I agree in this case that there is a point in time where the asker will have to accept what has been read for them. I guess I differ in that I don’t see it as my problem as the reader but a problem for the asker. You can lead a horse to water but can’t make it drink sort of thing.
I am studying to be a counselor and I have learned that, you can try all you want to help someone, give them the tools, but they have to use the tools themselves. Counseling works best when both parties are working towards the same goal. I guess I take this as my philosophy.
I guess I sort of wash my hands of the situation, in the case that an asker is asking the same question over and over again. This is just what works for me, not that everyone should feel this way. I just wanted to put my 2 cents in.
I agree with both sides, somewhat. I, personally, don’t care if the asker goes to a hundred readers or one every week for the rest of their lives with the same question. And the following is why.
Going to multiple readers with the same question or going to the same reader with the same question again and again likely involves either obsessive behavior or a critical question. I have a client that, every week and a half, asks for a reading on their love life. Their culture is very traditional and expects them to get married - it’s a pressure in their life. Does the answer change? Sometimes but usually not. And, once a week, I’ll remind them that the answer might not have changed. I know they also visit another reader sometimes as well, as they reference the reader. Am I insulted? No. They want a second opinion because the question is important to them.
The problem with readers is twofold. We offer advice and, because we have faith in ourselves as readers, we expect people to take it. People probably won’t. People want the answers they want and we, as readers, usually do not have a counselling degree or years of friendship that make the asker want to believe us over their own wishes. People want a second or third opinion. They should be allowed to get that without the readers getting angry. Is the client obsessive? Maybe. You don’t know enough of their life to successfully make that statement. In the example above, the querent sounds obsessive - but I know the context of cultural and family pressures. The client is even in danger of an arranged marriage if they don’t find someone to marry in the next few years. As an aside, I would say that, as a professional reader, I have a policy saying I will report to the police if I think the client is in danger of hurting themselves or others but that’s an exception and not the rule.)
Does the asker have to listen or accept what you’ve said? No. They’re paying you a service that you’re providing (or taking up a service you’re offering). They don’t have to listen to you any more than you have to listen to a gas station clerk who gives directions that you ask for. It’s their choice. It’s not personal. To them, it’s important. And I find a lot of readers get offended when asked to read the same question again and again or to find their client goes to another reader. You’re making it about YOU and it should be about THEM.
It’s not your job to offer advice. It’s your job to read the cards. You’re a translator, not a counselor (unless you’re both). You can recommend against a second reading and you can ask if they’ve asked them not to go to another reader but they don’t have to listen to you - you don’t control them. If you can’t accept their refusal, then you shouldn’t take them as a querent. You have the right to set your own rules and boundaries after all and you don’t have to take a querent that doesn’t fit the bill. It’s business (even if you aren’t getting paid). It’s not personal.
Science Side of Tumblr, I need your help! Ladies of the Science Side of Tumblr, I especially need your help!
I had a conversation at my non-science day job that went like this:
A friend who shall be called Diane (not her real name) comes to my desk to chat. Just one of the many topics we discuss is that her boyfriend is taking a class in wildlife biology. She has decided that she has grown tired of hearing about local wildlife and hearing him recite a plethora of scientific names.
I responded positively to this subject, and told her that I too found the subject interesting. A third person had heard our conversation. We shall call her Claire (again, not her real name). Claire immediately responded, “Girls don’t like that kind of thing.”
"Are you saying that girls don’t like science?" I asked.
"No, not normally they don’t," she responded.
Before you all screech with anguish, bear with me for a moment. We all know that this is not true. As a man, I find this idea upsetting for countless reasons that have all been validly discussed before. To try to debate the issue is rather moot. Instead, I’d like a show of hands.
Ladies of the Science Side of Tumblr! I call you to arms! Will you rally around me in saying that women can and do indeed love science, of any variety? Gentleman of the Science Side of Tumblr who know someone who is a girl who also happens to love science, will you stand with me too? We all like and reblog the pro-women-in-science posts we see so often, let’s all stand and be counted in one place this time.
Reblog this if you are a woman who loves science. Reblog this if you are a man who knows a woman who loves science. Let us disprove her beyond all doubt!
It’s really funny how often the opinions of gods seem to mirror the opinions of the one speaking for them.
In the end, its up to you to figure out what works best for you.
Anyways, a lot of websites have a lot of different sources for their information. Some take the information from culture X, another from culture B, another from mythology A, and another from folklore T
Find a source that works best for you. For me, I would look into Celtic lore regarding the moon
Astrological combinations are very popular in choosing when to do a spell. An almanac can help with that but the internet’s useful to.
You can also use common sense in regards of the moon, which is what I do when I decide to use the moon. If I want something to decrease, I’ll use it during the waning. If I want something to increase, I do it on the waxing. Full moons tends to be the high of something whereas new moon would be the lack of something.
I would talk to someone, personally. It sounds like you’re having issues connecting with people and there could be a psychological reason behind that. Some people just have a hard time making connections with others - I’m one of them. I worked at a place for five years and was barely on first-name basis with people who had been there as long as I had. I started to remedy that by picking one person I thought I would get along with and went out of my way to talk to them and eventually I started being invited out to parties and events and made friends through that person. Again, it was a conscious effort and choice I had to make.
As for a spirit, what kind of person do you want to be with? Someone who can support you or be a mentor? Someone to play Watson to your Sherlock? Deciding what kind of friend you’re looking for would help. Building relationships with spirits is not unlike building them people humans - it’s not often instantaneous. If there’s a specific being you want to attract, find out what offerings to give. If you’re someone who astral travels, there are locations in cities that work like a bulletin board of sorts - you can leave your calling card there with what you’re looking for and where to find you. Then simply weed out the people you don’t think you’d get along with. If you’re not so good at astral travel, you can try spells to draw friends to you.
If you want someone to always be at your side, a servitor is a better choice - they’re reliant on you and with enough time can develop their own personalities and be good friends. Mine is active enough that my cat notices it on occasion and will react to it.
You’re just going to have to do it.
The thing with working to remedy behaviors you dislike in yourself is to actually go forth and try to fix those behaviors. If you’re shy and want to get over that shyness, you’re going to have to put yourself in situations to challenge that shyness.It’s going to be hard, it’s probably not even going to be fun, and it almost certainly will be scary but you have to do it in order to get over those behaviors. You could see a specialist doctor but the advice is often the same as above.
Since your issues come from trauma, I recommend talking it over with the aforementioned doctor in order to see what they suggest, especially if there’s a change of being triggered.
That’s to deal with people in general but it works similarly for spirits. Many spirits will probably cause those same feelings. When dealing with others - spirit or otherwise - there is always a chance of being hurt. Always. If you want to develop a relationship with a person or spirit at all, you’ll have to take that risk.
As for the skepticism, I’m not sure what you want me to say here? I know spirits are real because my experiences tell me as much. It is a core belief, an unshakable foundation of my life. It is as ordinary to my life as air and the sun. If you’re looking to be convinced they exist, I can’t help you. No one can. Only you can discover what will convince you that they’re real. If you’re skeptical of the importance of such spiritual relationships… well, people are skeptical of friendships on the internet as well and many people are greatly involved with people online and not so much in person. All I can say is that friendships or working with spirits is as old as humanity and has always been important to the parties involved.
I hope that helps you out a bit anon.